If I rambled, it would be on Monday...

A lot can happen in one fabulously long weekend.



Let's talk about noses, let's talk about mine or more specifically my sinuses. Yes, you may leave if you wish (with my history of revelational journaling - I will understand), but it's not going to be what you think. You can trust me; it won't be like the doctor visit and stool sample thing. I promise. hee hee. Really you can stay.

I want to say that once in a while especially in the winter months, I need to purchase Tylenol Sinus Medicine. And yes it has Pseudoephedrine in the formula. I only buy it about every other month. Now does that sound like a crime to you? I even got nervous looking up how to spell it on the Internet, because of all the Meth making problems.

But it feels like I am doing something wrong when I go to the store to buy one package of this behind-the-counter sinus medication.

First of all, I have to wait in line at the pharmacy desk and then ask in a quiet voice, "I would like Tylenol Sinus medicine, please." Many times I get this, "We are all out." But if they are not out of the product then this is how it goes.

"You have to pay for this medication here, at this counter." She (always a she) says in her outdoor voice.

"I know, " I always say.

"You can only buy one." she continues to yell. (or maybe I'm too sensitive)

"That's all I asked for, thank you." I say patiently, but am wondering, Is it hot in here?

"I have to have your driver's license." she continues, "I have to copy it."

I fumble with my license and hand it to her. "Ok."

"You have to pay for it here." she says again.

"That's why I have my money out." I say a little snippy.

"You have to sign for this kind of medicine you know."

I nod wondering, Is she is looking at my pupils?

Then she looks at my license (true story) and looks at me, then back at the license.

"I've changed my hair." I defend. Can I please have a drink of water and maybe a Valium, I am thinking.

"Yes, your hair was darker."

I want to tell her it's not my fault that I am getting grayer and that my hair dresser girl will not under no circumstances allow me to go natural...gray and I have asked her permission, but I say instead, "I color my hair." my voice gets weaker.

She did laugh, but what does that mean?

I pay with cash. Is that suspicious?

She staples the bag closed with the receipt attached. I am thinking this must be in case drug producing people are stalking me and want to take it from me. I can see how the staples will surely keep them out. And all I want to do...is just breathe through my nose. That's all.

Woman Cured of Black Friday Shopping Bug

Did you hear about THAT woman...in the news? Well, not really in the news, but I think I am cured of BF shopping and that does not have anything to do with best friends..

Spending time with my daughter shopping is always a blast...but never ever on BF in Branson, Missouri...ever again.

I spent the night with my daughter, so that was fun.

We did not start early, so that was good. We headed out and the traffic was good.
Later when we arrived in Branson the traffic still looked good.

But not here at the Tanger Outlet (see that roof line in the distance that's where we were going-not the castle)...traffic not so good. Parking spaces not so available. People not so nice. Okay, Okay that was me. And in my defense, I only got frustrated once and may have flung my hands in the air in anger as a man was flinging his hands in the air in protest to me having my turn... at turning. I'm Irish, for goodness sakes. I have a temper.

Good thing I went to church on Sunday. Now I'm much better. (wink)
Oh and one more thing that really was in the news (where my daughter lives) was a woman who became too aggressive in a store- punching people- shoving people. She was arrested.
NOW don't you appreciate me more, man in car, who flung his hands in the air at me?
When we got back to my daughters city, we decided to run through a drive thru, grab a sandwich and then go to her house to eat. We took her car to give mine a rest. We were in a very long line waiting. Suddenly, she says do you smell something? I said, No. I looked at the gauge, but it was fine. She said, Is there smoke coming out of the back window? I looked but didn't see anything...but as I continued looking THERE WAS ... smoke billowing (maybe trickling) out of the trunk and into the window. We were a long ways from paying for the food and getting the food.
I (threw on my cape) jumped out of the car and opened the trunk thinking something was on fire in there.
Nothing.
I got back in the car and we moved one car length. It looked like it was getting worse and then all of a sudden there was a red glow. It looked like it was on fire. I hopped out again and into the very tiny backseat. I had grabbed my water bottle. I glanced up at the woman behind me in her car and she looked disturbed. She of course didn't know I was fighting potential fire. I don't think she could see the smoke rising. Then the glow got brighter. I felt the area and it was felt hot. So like a good fire woman I threw water on the area. Something popped and the glow stopped.
My daughter took it to a shop the next day. They said there was foam (probably insulation) in the connection between bulb and electricity. Whew!

Now back to work!!! Do I have to?

The Talebearer

Without wood a fire goes out;
without gossip a quarrel dies down.

As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man's inmost parts.

Like a coating of glaze over earthenware
are fervent lips with an evil heart.

A malicious man disguises himself with his lips,
but in his heart he harbors deceit.

Though his speech is charming, do not believe him,
for seven abominations fill his heart.

His malice may be concealed by deception,
but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.

If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it;
if a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him.

A lying tongue hates those it hurts,
and a flattering mouth works ruin.

Proverbs 26:20-28

Thoughts from JW: "Gossip that reaches the ear of someone who will not repeat it--dies." (David Roper)

Talking about another person is so easy to do. I might say, "This is not gossip, this is true." or "YOU need to know this so you won't be surprised." But it doesn't change the fact that I would be gossiping. Talking about another seems to be the pastime of many... probably most. And what's the harm if the person doesn't find out? I once heard that good character is not what you do when someone's watching, but what you do when no one is watching. To me both are equally important. Deciding what we will do prior to call of the gossip bug is crucial if we wish to serve God. If we refuse to talk about about others, even if it is true -even if it is fun, we are serving them love.

I have been on both sides of gossip. I have been the talebearer. And I have been the subject of gossip. Neither benefited me in any way. None.

I will ask you to think about two things today. 1) Can you stop gossip at your ear? 2) And if you will, what do see as the benefits? Refusing to gossip BTW is not popular.

No comments needed. Just think about, while I go do some soul searching.

Blessings,
JW

November 28, 2000

My daughter gave me permission to blog about this day November 28...nine years ago. I even talked her into letting me put a recent photo here. (Yes, I ask permission. I am nice like that...uh huh.)

On November 28, 2000 my daughter had been in college for a few months. I even remember what I was doing at that moment- showing someone how to put toner in a printer.

Someone in the room told me there was a phone call for me...but they said it quietly. Maybe it was because they spoke quietly or maybe it's mom esp, but I knew it was not going to be a "good" call.

When I put the telephone to my ear, I expected the worse. The voice I heard was my only daughter. She said something like this, "Mom I rolled my car. I've had a wreck." I asked her where she was. She told me she was sitting alongside her car, and that the ambulance was there and would take her to the hospital but... she would not go until I got there.

Miracles. Traveling not too far behind her, that day, was a young man who had gone to the same school, who lived in the same town. He was a first responder. He responded.

She was borrowing his phone. Her cell phone had rolled with the car. He had dialed it for her. Then it was his turn. He was on the cell phone telling me the witnesses said she had not been traveling fast. I guess that mattered to him. He told me where the accident had happened.

I made in less than 10 minutes...a lot less...I didn't think...I just reacted.

I remember that day, that moment when I arrived "on the scene". It wasn't hard to find. There had to have been 20 or more cars parked alongside the road. I pulled my convertible behind one of them and thanked God that she had not been driving my car that day.

When I got out of the car, I didn't think my legs would carry me. I couldn't see my daughter or the car- there were so many people. As I walked across the highway, the people parted like...picture the red sea in the Bible. They all turned to watch me. I heard them say -mostly whisper, "That's her mother." and "Is that her mother?".

I first saw the car and when I did sobs tried to surface from deep in my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe. But I had to stop those sobs stay calm for my little girl. But how could a car be so flat and a young girl be so alive?

And then I saw my precious daughter. Her face was cut and bruised. Her knee was cut and bloody...and sure enough she was sitting by her car and the EMT's were waiting for me to arrive before she would let them load her.

My daughter said a lot things that day that didn't make sense to me... like she rolled up her window to get out.

She said she kept trying to figure out how to flip her car back up on the road.

She told the EMT's she couldn't go to the hospital until I got to the scene of the accident.

Oh and one more thing, she said (but this made sense). She told me that as she was rolling over and over her body and head were being assaulted by the car. She cried out to God. She. Cried. Out. To. God. Suddenly, she felt hands hold her against the back of the car seat as the car finished its rolling. I believe in miracles, because I have experienced them.

Her car was totalled...smashed...looked like a metal pancake.

She had a knot on her head.

She had a black eye.

She had several stitches in the gaping cut on her knee.

And she had PTSD for years...and maybe still- a little bit. It is a traumatic thing to roll a car.

During this season of gratitude, I can't even express the thankfulness in my heart for my children. My son. My daughter. Like most parents, I feel they are my shining stars.

That daughter of mine has always had a great attitude...attitude that helped her heal from her car accident and attitude that probably sustained her through years of graduate school. Attitude that told her not to give up until she got that doctorate in psychology.

Even though she said she wanted to be a ballerina or a paleontologist.

Our mother-daughter relationship has evolved into a friendship. She has become my best friend. Who would have thought it?

There are times, however, when she still wants me to be her mother. And I am happy to oblige.

Celebrating Black Friday with...

black and white photography- mine...shot with my 32 year old -35mm camera. I love this camera. While I am off shopping 'til I dropping, you can zoom in on my photos.

A mushroom

Don't touch, it's not editable!

My outdoor cat Kiki Dee

She once sang with Elton John. Now do you remember her?

A church in the country

Peaceful!

A spider in the garden.

I struggled to take this photo and struggled to put it in the mix.

Remember the phobia?

Remember The China Cat?

I am still crying a tear for her.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wish to be thankful when I am feeling blue.

I wish to be thankful when I am missing you.

I wish to be thankful when all seems wrong.

I WILL be thankful all my life long.

Have a thankful day, Blogger Friends.

Yours,
Teresa- otherwise known as Journaling Woman

Reason #1 why I blog...

I blog because... from my own home...I can visit you in yours through your blog... or if you don't blog...then through your comments to me. I can see through your words and photos portions of your world, dreams and passions. I get to see small snippets of your culture which also excites me. And it thrills me when you all comment. So Reason #1 that I blog is to get to know you.

Last week I was given my first Blog award The Lemonade Award and I am THRILLED! Thank you, Tugce, for passing it onto me.

Here are my nominees for bloggers that have great attitude and show gratitude (it's just 12).

Musings from Fairlight Farm (My sister- her farm)
South Through Barefoot Pass (My dad- artist, woodcarver, writer-where I get my love of writing)
Life at Number 10 (About renovating, decorating, sewing and other wonderful things.)
White Dove (About memories, reading, family and day to day life)
Mystery Writing is Murder (She was the first writer blog I visited. She is a brilliant writer of mystery- my favorite genre)
It's a Mystery (She is also a brilliant writer)
Whole Latte Life (Another writer- whose words are as smooth as butter -without the cholesterol or fat)
Terri Tiffany Inspirational Writing (This girl shows her faith in her writing. She is also a published writer.)
Writings from Blackberry Hill (This girl is funny. I enjoy reading her blog. You need to read her chicken antics, if you haven't already.)
Tossing it Out (Another writer. I like his blog!)
At the Farm (Ok I love farms. She posts beautiful photos. You need to go see the posts about the white deer that frequents her farm.)
The Writers Porch (She writes, shows photos - just a very pleasant blog)

There are others, but I must stop somewhere. Let me say that if my daughter were still blogging on her frugal blog -she would be number 1. But since she started her new position, she is too busy to blog.

There are two other blogs that I stop in on - Judy Sheldon Walker and Yagmur but they were given the award too by Tugce.

Dear Nominees: If you wish to pass this award onto your favorite bloggers, then do the following:

1. Put the lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude. (List them on your blog)
3. Link the nominees within your post.
4. Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.


I blog, therefore I am. - JW

Monday as Thursday

This week...I think...Monday. and. I. might actually be civil to one another. It is a two day work week for me. Monday will be my Thursday (remember that girl?) and Tuesday will be my Friday (remember my favorite child?)

and Wednesday will be my Saturday....after that I'm lost.

Now I will ramble some more...

Technology: This weekend I thought about when my Grandma Sadie was still upon the earth. In 1982 (when she passed) cell phones (here anyway) were not common. There was no Internets, no Twitter, no digital TV channels, no Skype, no web cameras, AND no computer viruses....

I took my first computer class in 1982...on a Tandy.

I got my first mobile phone in 1992. It was a big ole bag phone. I carried it to the grocery store with me to look cool. I hope no one took a picture of me flaunting my bag phone...I mean I don't have money enough to take that embarrassment away...me pretending to talk to someone.

I got my first computer in 1992. DOS.

In 1982, there was no WebMD. Instead I had a medical encyclopedia under my bed. I had read it cover to cover. After that I would check it regularly as symptoms appeared (or so I imagined). Are you still wondering why my daughter went into psychology? Around 10 years ago, Chloe (my other cat, pictured on the right) dipped her big furry paw into my coffee that was sitting on my nightstand and spilled it all over the floor and the bed skirt. When I lifted the bed skirt, I discovered the medical encyclopedia, again. As I looked at that dusty white cover, I took a deep breath (and sneezed) then tossed it in the trash. What a relief. That book had held me hostage for years.

I can't imagine life without technology...especially since it is my job. But technology can also hold us hostage. Once in a while wouldn't it be great to take a break from it, technology?

One more thing: Moonshine - have you ever wondered about moonshine? Sunday Morning had a segment on the firey drink. As a child I always thought it would be exciting, while roaming the countryside, to happen upon a still. I'm thinking a storyline is coming to my brain. hmm. I knew about moonshine and stills from watching The Andy Griffith Show.

Anyhoo, I found out a couple of things about moonshining (is that a word?). 1. Moonshine stills were illegal. 2. They were "spirits produced and sold without tax by the light of the moon" (CBS, Sunday Morning, 2009) hence the phrase. 3. Made with corn (of course we knew that, huh?). 4. Was made into corn liquor, a type of whiskey. 5. There are still -stills - illegal stills. 6. But there are legal moonshine producers today, but doesn't that take the fun out of it? I mean in broad daylight...with the ok of the authorities? Shouldn't they call it Sunshine? And the reason I probably didn't find a still when roaming the countryside is because stills were more common, down south.

What are you thinking this Monday?

Enter His gates with thanksgiving ...

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100 (NIV)

Thoughts from JW: I think it is so appropriate that Thanksgiving Day falls prior to Christmas, when I celebrate the birth of Christ. What does this do for me? Thanksgiving readies my soul. Thanksgiving reminds me that I am blessed and that I need to bless others. It reminds me that wherever we are with relationships, or in our spiritual journey, or in the world, or in our stage of life --we need to be thankful. This is not a new concept, but often difficult to carry out...that is... to be thankful wherever we are and with whatever is on our table.

Thankfulness is our gift to ourselves. Being thankful is a gift to those we love. And thankfulness is our gift to God who provides our every need (Phil. 4:19).

I always look forward to spending time with my family on Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. of A. I am praying for you that your Thanksgiving celebration be warm and filling. And if you don't celebrate our Thanksgiving Day, may you today pause and be thankful.

I am thankful

I am thankful for my parents who took excellent care of their children. They gave my brother, sister and I -a quality life.

My daughter has thanked me more than once for giving her, and her brother, a good childhood. She is a psychologist and hears way too much for this mother’s liking. But, a statement like that means a lot to a parent…when your children are pleased with something you did as a parent. You always wonder. The first time she said that to me was after a college class where the students were sharing “things”. She came home and hugged me and said she appreciated the abuse free, loving childhood where she and her brother were cared for and allowed to be children and then to grow up. What else could I say, but ‘you’re welcome’?

Sometimes adults don't give their children the gift of childhood.

Family is important and should be a place of safety...where you can be assured you are safe from criticism, abuse and neglect... and where you are loved.

Sometimes family members injure us beyond forgiveness. But, sometimes family members let unimportant things get in the way of loving each other.

My philosophy, and I have told my Sibs this, is that no family possession or property will ever separate my love from them. Even though I know that my brother is my parents favorite child...or is it my sister...or is it the current kitty cat or dog that lives with my parents... I know I am loved and cherished. Only kidding, Bloggers, they love us equally. However, the kitty cat thinks she is the favored one.

I am thankful for family.

Curly Locks

After attending church last Sunday, I was driving by another church and saw a two-year-old toddler... girl running through the parking lot…away from her daddy. She would stop, look back, laugh and run some more. It was clear that her father was trying to coax her back without having to run after her. After all he WAS in his Sunday best. The little girl was heading for the busy street, but he could have out run her anytime. It looked like he was trying to let her have some freedom, some independence.

What I have to say to that father is -never -ever give a curly haired little girl her independence.



The little girl’s curly locks was what I noticed first...then I recognized the attitude nicely attached. You see I have a theory. Females (and maybe males) who have natural born curly hair are um…spirited individuals. The next time you’re in public…just spy on a curly locks female and see if I’m not right. Just don't let her see you.

Have I told you that I have curly hair?

Curly-locks, Curly-locks, wilt thou be mine?

There is something else I need to tell you... I think... I don't want to sound vain...but I have good hair. It’s true. Others have told me. I can give you the number of my hair stylist. She will tell you, I have good hair. It’s thick. It’s curly. It’s …well I forget what color. But my hair has always been a challenge in my life. And my theory holds true with me anyway and MY curly locks. When I "allow it", if I can wrestle it, my curly hair gives me attitude. It is and always has been a definite struggle of nature versus nurture...me and my hair.

My life did not begin with curly locks. In fact I had very little hair.

Thou shalt not wash the dishes, nor yet feed the swine;

My genetic pool included two very handsome people who got together (JW can't think about that, it burns her brain). My mother started out with thick, dark, straight (unless she pin-curled it) hair. Then dad…thick, curly, red hair. Did this little girl have any chance for hair that she could comb through easily? Or hair that she could each morning shake back and forth (like in the commercials) and have each strand fall in place? Or...or hair that wouldn't, when she stepped outside on a hot steamy Missouri summer night, expand bigger than the doorway she just exited.

Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit there.

But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam

Are you thanking God yet for your tame hair?

My mother must have tried very hard to keep this hair orderly.

And this hair

It didn't get any tamer as I got older. (Somebody tell me why I have one pant leg up and one down, pleeeeeeeeeeease tell me.)

And older.

But I think I've come to terms with my "blessing". Especially when someone told me they paid big bucks for curly locks...like mine.

And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream.

I like my hair these days curly or straight. But I have spent a lot of time, energy and money trying to change something that was just fine the way it was. Am I the only one? How about you? Was there something you wanted to change about yourself growing up?

PS My sweet mother will never agree that my hair was trouble growing up. She loves my hair because... she loves me.

Curly-locks, Curly-locks, wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash the dishes, nor yet feed the swine;
But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream.

Excuse me while I go sit on a cushion and feed upon fruit, artificial sweetener and a little half and half.

(Source: of nursery rhyme http://www.apples4theteacher.com/)

1974

Senior is beginning to mean something entirely different to me these days, but we shall not talk about such things.

This photo represented my senior year in high school.

My schedule that year:

Bookkeeping

Study hall (remember study hall?)

Shorthand

Algebra

Photography

Student Helper (principals office)

Favorite Quote:

Tis Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. (I'll get back to you on that one)

Car: Light green 1965 mustang

Favorite Movie: The Cross and The Switchblade

Favorite TV shows: The Walton's, Sonny and Cher and Happy Days.

Favorite Commercial: Hamm's Beer (with a Kodiak bear)

Favorite Album: David Bowie- Sorrow and Ozark Mountain Daredevils

Soft Drink- 15 cents

Hamburger - 45 cents

Pizza - $2.25

Gasoline: 50 cents a gallon

Rock Concert: $3.00 - 5.oo

Records: 80 cents

Tapes: $5.00

So what was going on during this time with me personally? I was excited to finish high school. I really wanted to go to college, but couldn't. (I went later) So, I signed up for a business school instead. But I met a boy who wanted to get married, so I decided not to go to school, but instead worked at a low paying job to save for my wedding. I moved out of my parents home for a short time, but moved back when I found out I couldn't live on my own and save too.

Three different young men professed their love for me that summer and asked me to marry them...but at the time I didn't believe in Polyandry...I am rethinking this. What would I want with three husbands? We can talk later. My mother may be watching. (Just kidding, mom)

That era seems long ago or was it yesterday?

1974

I left the office

Last week I left my office and traveled 12 miles to our rural elementary school to provide a little technology help in person.





I really like going out there. Mary makes my visits pleasant.




Although it looks like I was chasing rainbows, actually the rainbow was in my windshield. What? Yes, I was driving slow while taking the pictures. Sure, I might have stopped in the middle of road once...or twice. That's how we drive here. Or that's how I drive. What? Absolutely no harm came to any animal or person while filming these pictures. I did run over...a rogue Styrofoam cup flitting across the highway. It wasn't my fault.

Along the way, I photographed some buildings in the small town as I went through it, that I want to share with you.

This is or was a church. I may have mentioned at some point that it seemed like I visited every church in our county, at least once, growing up. Every time the church doors were open and services were going on my maternal grandmother was there, and I went with her many times. NO, she didn't make me go. I loved spending time with her. She didn't drive though. Hmm how did we get to all those church services? I have a memory of going to this church. Church services were well attended back then on Sundays and during the week, if there were revivals.





This is the side of an old hotel. The highway, that runs in front of it, was once well traveled and the little town saw lots of business from those travellers.
This is the side and front. Trees have grown up in the middle of the building. My adventurous side wants to go climb in and snoop. (That side of me comes from my adventurous dad.) But, I won't because it's not right to trespass, right? ...oh and I still have that spider phobia.

It's nice to get out of the office sometimes...

I have an announcement (rap rap on table)

It is time to announce who won the prizes of the giveaway.

Lucky for you all, George decided not to propose, I didn't lose my hat, nor did I break both arms so I drew the names for the 100th post giveaway.





Annnnnnnd the winners are (in order of drawing):

1. Elspeth Antonelli
2. White Dove
3. Indie
4. Linda

Just to remind you the first person chosen can choose the prize she wants. Post your choice in the comments on this post so that the next person can choose what she wants.(Warning: you may spit as you read that out loud) The last person drawn (Linda) will not get to choose (sorry about that, but the choosing had to stop somewhere). Aren't I brilliant the way I deduct such difficult findings and relay it to you in double talk? Any questions? Also, email me with your mailing address. Otherwise, I will be forced to take off work, hire a private eye (a cute one) that will look a lot like George Clooney and travel the world to bring your gift to you. Even though I would love to come visit and stay a month, I would miss my family and I would lose my job for being away so long. So please send email address.

Thank you all for entering and making my 100th post celebration fun. Because it is so much fun, I will be doing another giveaway soon.


Thank you, Blogger Friends!

It's rambling time again....

Jesse

I went to a memorial service for Jesse this weekend. He was 23 years old when he died last week of cancer. He fought very hard for 1 ½ years against the disease.

His family didn’t want his service to be sad, they wanted a gathering of happiness and joy and laughter…and they got it. There were tears too.

Someone said he must have known somehow that he was going to die young. He married young, had his children very young, moved out of his mom and dad’s house young and started working in the real world young and…then he died young. Maybe he did know, because he certainly didn’t put off until tomorrow….

Here are some gifts that were given and received:
Laughter is more important than pouting… which is a waste of time.
Forgiveness should never be a question, because it hurts you more if you don’t.
Saying I love you should be as automatic as breathing.
Take care of your family first and foremost.
Don’t be so busy that you can’t enjoy your passion.
Don’t worry about looking silly…just have fun.
Be kind to everyone, even if you don’t feel like it.
Miracles are not just about the physical healing.

Jesse didn’t believe in organized religion. We shouldn’t put our faith in religion because it will let you down every time. However, when asked by his sweet baby sister if he still believed in Jesus, he pointed to all the tubes in his wasting away body and said "Look at me. How could I have gone through all of this and not believe in Jesus. I wouldn’t have had the strength."

His oldest little girl told someone, “My daddy is living in heaven, he is way up there, he is an angel now.” Jesse’s brother put on his own Facebook, “I can’t wait to see you again.” Hearts are broken and probably always will be for Jesse. But he would never ever want his family to stop living and loving each other.

I knew Jesse loved hunting and fishing, the whole family does.
I didn’t know he loved the group Corn.
I knew he loved the girls in high school.
I didn’t know he could say the word metamorphosis at the age of four.

Jesse’s family wants to remember him as the multifaceted young man that he was- fun, comedic, kind and loving- not sick and dying. That’s what I am praying for my friend L and family that they during their grieving time will also be able to laugh at Jesse’s memories. Those memories were his life and that’s what he has left them so they can carry on.

NOW let's get the laughter going, Jesse would want that. If you have a minute go over to Indie's site and read The Tale of the Painted Lady. My country roots go deep and we're not talking about my hair, hair that I've forgotten what color it actually is. I am a country girl and I appreciate the farm. Go look at this brilliant (and I imagine difficult to photograph) blog post. I have visited this post three times. I needed the laugh. If you don't laugh then sometin's wrong wits ya.



Have a great Monday and come back later today for the Giveaway announcement!!!



Photo: Courtesy of playle.com

New Beginnings

When the builders laid the foundation of the temple of the Lord, the priests in their vestments and with trumpets, and the Levites (the sons of Asaph) with cymbals, took their places to praise the Lord, as prescribed by David king of Israel.

With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord : "He is good;his love to Israel endures forever." And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.

But many of the older priests and Levites and family heads, who had seen the former temple, wept aloud when they saw the foundation of this temple being laid, while many others shouted for joy.

No one could distinguish the sound of the shouts of joy from the sound of weeping, because the people made so much noise. And the sound was heard far away. Ezra 3:10-13 (NIV)

JW's thoughts: Author of Ezra- Unknown... Reader- Me. In this story we see people reacting with both joy and grief in the same location on the same day. They had different views of the same event. I think we often react like this in our own lives. We grieve what we have lost (jobs, houses, money). But if we allow it, we can find new happiness in new beginnings. Sometimes that means letting go and sometimes not. There is no betrayal in moving on and embracing a new beginning. Just so you know. Today, are you thinking about something that you might be hanging onto that is best let go?

My heart reaches out...

My heart reaches out in silence because I don't know what to say.

I have a friend, L, who is in the most difficult moments of her life, moments that drag by with a painful understanding, pain like she has never before experienced. Moments that included saying goodbye to her middle child, at least for this lifetime. He was only twenty something. He died November 10, 2009 of cancer.

She and I use to work together. We still work in the same district. Through the years our friendship grew. But we really bonded as 1999 slid into 2000. We were in Dallas at Southfork Ranch (The Dallas TV show) chaperoning the band students who would perform on New Years Day at the Cotton Bowl Game. The band teacher was also a good friend and between the two of them they talked me into going. After all, my daughter was the drum majorette. So, I traveled on a big bus with lots of band students for hours and hours to Dallas, Texas. L and I shared a very nice room on the ninth floor.

She and I have some things in common. We love coffee and must have it upon awakening. We love cats. And most of all, we love our children deeply and soulfully -like most mothers do.

I remember how sad she was when their cat (one eyed) Jack died, she suspected, from drinking the residue of a cleaning product in the bathtub.

Jack made her sad, but this is worse.

L was a daddy's girl. Her dad died a few years ago. This is worse.

Her mom has Alzheimer's and doesn't often recognize her, but this is worse.

I haven't heard her blame God once, but if she did, He would understand.

I've noticed that people want to blame someone for things that go wrong. We blame each other. We blame ourselves. We blame the government or the president. We blame God. Although, blaming is a normal reaction to pain and stress, blaming has never made the horrible- better...not for me anyway. Never! And I’ve tried.

Sometimes when things happen, I ask why. God isn't surprised when we ask "why" or when we are angry at him, or when we blame him for the mess in our lives. I sometimes think it would be great if God were my puppeteer guiding me and mine through life to avoid the ugly. But it doesn't work that way. And I can't really expect him to be my puppeteer one day and then demand to be free the next. He isn't my Santa Claus or my genie in a bottle, and yet I ask him for things, all the time. Give me! God thinks about eternity and we think about the present, because our vision is narrow. That's the way we are. He understands that, too.

No parent should outlive their child. But, we can't control that. Scripture says that our days are determined (Job 14:5 NIV) -measured. We are born. We live. We die. We can't control death. We might think we can, but not really.

Last month was the 33rd year anniversary since the death of a child of another dear friend of mine. The baby girl was almost two when a terrible horrible accident occurred near their home. I didn't know what to say to her then and I don't know what to say to L now, except I love you. And I hope the love and prayers of her family and friends will reach her in the fog of sadness that she has to bear.

It's Funny What You Remember

As a child I had a reoccurring dream. It wasn't an every day dream or even an every month dream. It was just a dream once in awhile.

My mom and I were on a bus...a serious bus...like a Greyhound bus. The bus was full of people. In the dream I see two nuns sitting near the front. My mom and I were sitting in front of the nuns.

At some point, my mom hands me to one of the nuns. I resisted. I cried. I felt very stressed about it.


My mother walks to the back of the bus and that's about it, except she doesn't come back.


Weird huh?


Over the years, I mentioned this dream to my mom, to my dad, to anyone who was listening.


I stopped having the dream once I married and moved away. But a few years ago, maybe ten, I mentioned the dream again. It was at that point, that my mother kind of had an Ah Ha moment. This is what she told me.

When I was around the age in the picture above, but I think a little younger, I was playing, fell, and put a gash behind my ear. I bled and it was very traumatic for my young parents. They took me to an emergency room.

We lived in Joliet, Illinois so I imagine it was a hospital nearby.




The photo (above) was my home. (I wish I had it sitting in my backyard today, where I could restore it.)

My mother told me that it was a Catholic hospital and there were nuns everywhere. I was bleeding and needed to be looked at, so one of the nuns took me from my mother. Of course, I started to cry. (I am very attached to my mom...even today...and yes if you grab me from her I WILL cry. You are duly warned.) The nuns would not let my folks go with me. I cried and they could hear me, that probably made it worse on both parents and child, I imagine.

I had to have stitches behind my ear. And my parents had to fill out paperwork in the meantime to explain what had happened. The hospital was probably suspicious. Those silly people didn't know that either one of my good parents would have given their life for me... in a blink...even today. They are that good.

So here is my question. Did the trauma that I experienced, at that very young age, imprint upon my brain the image of nuns taking me from my mother on the bus? Was the reoccurring dream just really a memory? My psychologist daughter said in her learning years she read about people (I think she said really intelligent people, but I could be making that up) remembering things from when they were very young.

It's funny what you remember...huh?

Reminder: If you haven't entered my 100th Post drawing it's not too late!

It's my 100th

I am excited.

I am not ashamed to say that I blog (love) you, fellow bloggers.

I appreciate you for reading my posts for allowing me to be serious and silly. You even allowed me to show you what I own and what I buy.


You let me brag about my family and how much they mean to me. You EVEN let me read Cinderella to you. Wow, you are good blogger friends.

I started this blog in July because I love to write and I journal. My sister and my daughter both encouraged me to blog...a couple of years ago. I told them it was silly and I would NEVER blog. I owe them an apology because I love love love blogging. Please don't tell them, eating my words is never a tasteful thing.

This is my current journal which is nearly full and will retire December 31, 2009.


Journaling Woman was my third try for a blog title. It was not taken so...I took it. My journal header is an old framed print I have hanging in my bedroom that once belonged to my maternal grandmother. It's very dear to me, and I wanted to share it with the world, because it's so pretty and because it was my grandmothers. My blog header gave me that opportunity. I will probably change it some day, because that's just who I am.

I have so many interests: writing, singing, playing my guitar, sewing, reading, DIY projects, pets, shopping for old things, gardening and that's only a few. Oh and most of all spending time with my fabulous family. (I had to say that, Christmas is coming.)

I want to thank you for being so thoughtful when my China Cat died. I still miss her. She sat on my feet when I wrote some of my posts.

So, I want to celebrate with you by giving away a couple of things that symbolize me.

For the grand giveaway I want to you to have this leather journal. Did I mention I love journals, notebooks, tablets? The journal is 5" x 7", if you care.




The second giveaway is another journal - not leather but has an adorable bookmark with it.



To excite the tool girl in me, I am giving away this book by Paige Hemmis. She is on the show Extreme Makeover. I really want that pink tool belt.

Then finally - nothing exciting- just a bookmark. This is in honor of the China Cat (or I can give you one of my sister's kittens...). Ok, Ok I'm just kidding.

So this is how it will work. I just need you to comment on this post within a week and tell me your in. Then I will more than likely draw names out of a hat. I was told there are programs that will randomly choose someone...I had never heard of that and this is quite embarrassing for a tech person to admit. Anyhoo, The first person drawn will get to choose which gift they would like, Second - gets to choose next and so on. As I mentioned the drawing will be one week from today for sure... absolutely positively...unless I break both arms and have to wear casts OR if my computer blows up OR if I lose the hat OR (and I really mean this one) if George decides to pop "the" question, then I will be unavailable with no apologies.

Oh and if no one enters then certain family members may be getting journals for Christmas. You'll be saving them if you enter. They may be sending you a thank you note for saving them from one less journal.

Thank you so much for visiting me and reading my words. If you have never commented here, now is a good reason to, if you would like to enter the contest. I love hearing your comments.

And I will "blog" you even if you don't comment. (That means love without commitment, just so you know that my heart belongs to George. Hope you're not jealous.)

Have a Happy Day- It's my 100th.

In His Presence

Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.

Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.

Psalm 105:1-4


JW's thoughts: Have you ever wondered why angels are always rejoicing in the scriptures of the Holy Bible? I believe it is because they live in the glorius presence of our most Holy God. You would think one so mighty and so pure would be untouchable. Not so. We too can live in the presence of God. Are you wondering where it begins...living there...in His presence? Know Him, Praise Him, Thank Him, Love Him. He already loves you. I promise!

Finding Happy

This is a 17 year old me...on prom night. I made my dress. That is my 1965 Ford Mustang that my folks bought me for $500 in 1973.

I didn't have a date.

But I had fun anyway.

Good news. I had a date the next year... and I married him the next.

Bad news, he divorced me. The marriage only lasted... 20 1/2 years. Really, I'm taking it well!!!

Good news again. I'm all right now. Such is life.

You just have to take what you are dealt, find out who you have become, then stand tall again and walk on and find your own way, then...choose to be happy.

And I found happy...not outside of me...inside.

P.S. I still feel 17.

How do you find your happiness? Do you wait for it to happen? Do you expect someone to fill that need? Do you find your own happiness? Where?

The Final Email

{Just a little technology entertainment for you - A short short story}

Amy had been dating Rob for months and now instead of working she watched for an email to pop up on her computer screen. Finally, after three minutes and seventeen seconds, it appeared and she smiled.





Dear Ames,

I am thinking of you. I can’t wait until I get to see you tonight. I am so glad the weekend is nearly here.

Yours, Rob

Amy clicked the reply button. She had a report due in two hours, but first wanted to answer Rob.

Dear Robby,

Thinking of you, too. Can’t wait to see you. Am looking forward to it.

Then Amy clicked to send.

“Hello.”

She looked up to see her best friend from the office. “Hey, Denise.”

“Do you have big plans for the weekend?” Denise asked. “Are you still seeing the guy you met online?”

“I do and I am. I feel like we might be taking our relationship to the next level.”

“That sounds serious.” Denise smiled and winked. “How long have you been dating?”

“Four months and I’m ready to say the love word. I think we’re both ready.”

“Really? Well don’t scare him off.” She giggled. “How’s the Goodman report coming?”

“Don’t worry I will have it completed by noon.” The computer’s speaker alerted Amy to another email message. “It’s Rob, talk to you later.”

Ames,

I wish the day were over so that I can see you. I am looking forward to seeing you too.

Rob

Amy had been working up the courage, for two weeks, to tell Rob how she really felt. “Now or never.” She said aloud.

Dear Robby,

Had a great time last night at the opening of the art museum. I loved being on your arm. You are fun to be with. Because we met online I thought it would be romantic to tell you something by way of email. I have wanted to tell you that I am falling for you in a major way. I care deeply for you.

Ames

Carefully she read the email again and clicked on the send button. Anxious, Amy returned to her work.

Ding!

Amy beamed at the thought of Rob replying so quickly. But anxiety returned when she saw the message was instead from her cousin Candice.

reminding u to not forget grandma’s surprise birthday party next week.

cu then

candy

Thanks, Candice, I won’t forget, was all she typed. She hated the way her cousin wrote emails. Amy sent the reply.

Again the computer speaker alerted her to an email arrival. Amy’s heart gathered speed when she saw the message was from Rob.

Hey Amy,

I care for you, too. My life is better with you in it. -Rob

Although short, Amy was satisfied with his response. So before she lost her nerve, she began typing.

Dear Robby,

I think about you all the time. We date exclusively now. We see each other several times a week. I may be wrong in assuming this, but I think we are at a place where I can tell you that -I love you.

-Ames

Amy read her words three times before sending the message. Then she turned her attention to the report that was due in less than an hour.

“I’m going for coffee, want me to bring you some?” Denise stood above her. “What’s wrong?”

“I hope I haven’t done the wrong thing. I emailed Rob the ‘love’ word.” Amy whispered.

“Wow, have you heard back?”

“Not, yet.” Amy said, “No thanks on the coffee.”

“Ok, well good luck.” Denise crossed her fingers in the air.

Amy went back to work, but kept glancing at the monitor.

Fifteen minutes passed. Thirty minutes passed. The sick feeling in her stomach now inched through her body. Finally, after an hour had passed she wondered about her confession. “I have really messed up,” she said out loud. “Why, why, why – did I tell him?” Amy began a new message.

Hi, Robby,

I know I laid a big one on you. Please email me back??????

Ames

She clicked Send. Then Amy turned in her report and went to lunch. But before she left, she looked at her inbox one last time. I had it all, she thought, a good guy and now I’ve blown it. She looked at her cell phone –nothing. It was low on battery so she turned it off.

When Amy returned from lunch she immediately searched for an email from Rob. Disappointed and hurt, when she didn’t find one, she typed a new message.

Dear Rob,

I’m sorry about saying that to you. Let’s just pretend I didn’t say it. Please email me.

A

Time crept by and Amy was feeling increasingly hurt. But after several minutes her hurt turned into anger.

Ok, Rob,

I realize that maybe I should have waited until we were face to face instead of saying those words through email, but you should have the decency to respond. They are just words, Rob, words that can soothe and obviously cause pain. Clearly, I have made you feel uncomfortable. Clearly, I misread what has been happening between us in the past weeks. So don’t email me back, I don’t care. You’re off the hook and I am glad I found out how you felt before I invested more time and emotion in this relationship.

Sincerely,

Amy Lynn Moss

She didn’t read it twice but instead with a shaking hand sent the message. Amy lowered her head and allowed the tears to trickle down her face. Then she released a quiet sob. Suddenly, she heard the sound of new mail. Through teary eyes she saw a message from Rob and quickly opened it.

Dear Sweet Ames,

Sorry but our email has been down. So I only opened the first few from you and decided to answer back before our email goes down again. I love you too and have been wanting to tell you. Amy, you are so good and kind and solid and I am so privileged to know you. I can see a future with you. How could I not love you? I am looking forward to seeing you tonight. We can talk then.

Love, Rob

P.S. I tried to call your cell at lunch.

“NO!” Amy quickly started another email.

Dear Rob,

Please disregard all mail after the “I love you”. I went temporarily insane and will explain later. You will think it funny, I hope. There will be no more email today- maybe never. Hoping (desperately) to see you later at my place. I am calling you, ASAP.

Love, Ames

Amy sent her final email.

Monday Rambling

Okay, you know that Monday and I don't actually get along...becuz she makes me work.

So let's talk about the weekend.

The Dr. (daughter) and I went a shopping Saturday. We had a sleepover (that's what my granddaughter calls staying overnight). So I got to cook a little for her on Friday night.

We talked.

Ate some more. Talked some more.

Saturday we went shopping. We went to a lake mall... shopped at Jockey, Banana Republic, J. Crew, Brooks Brothers and a book store. Very pretty sunny day.

We also hit a thrift store that funds an animal shelter. You know how I feel about animals and...

you know how I feel about pillows...about old things...textiles. I found this tapestry pillow there (see first photo). I love it.

I found this pillow. It will be beautiful after a good washing.
Both pillows together were only 50 cents....the experience priceless.

I found this framed artwork. I love original artwork. I hope it is signed under the frame. It's a pearl necklace -in case you can't tell.

Saturday evening I saw my son and daughter-in-law and three very beautiful goblins. Did I tell you that my son is a keeper too? Yes, my children are perfect, don't hate me for that. I can't help it, they just turned out that way.

Then Sunday, I went to church with my daughter.

A super great weekend, but Monday is trying to ruin it. I will have a talk with her later and it won't be pretty. We just don't get along.

Did you have a good weekend?

There was a man who had two sons.

The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.


"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.

For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.

So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.

'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.

But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

"'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Luke 15 (NIV)

JW is wondering who exactly was the prodigal son? Was it the son who spent his father's money on foolishness or was it the son who spent his father's love with foolishness?