Awkward moment #1.
About 35 years ago (tell me I’m not that old- TELL ME), I went into my bank and saw a friend of mine at the teller window. I had no children yet, but she was about to have her second child. We chit chatted. We laughed. She needed to go back to work. So I said, “R, when is your baby due?” Her smile disappeared, “I had the baby two months ago. I just haven’t lost the baby weight.”
Lesson Learned: Never ever ask someone if they are pregnant not female – not male.
Awkward moment #2
Another 150 years ago (uh that might make me a vampire), when I worked as an athletic secretary (and that doesn't mean what you think), I answered phone and greeted people and did whatever else I did. I was likeable and usually friendly to other people. One of our regular sales people called to ask if he could come by for a visit. We made the appointment then chit chatted (I’m good at that chit chatting). Finally, it was time to say our goodbyes. But, my farewell was special. He said he would let me go and then said his goodbye. I said, “Bye, love ya.” Silence. Holding breath. The only sounds were the echoing of my words in the recesses of our minds. Then I started laughing hysterically. He said, “I’m not sure how I will explain this to my wife.” I assured him that he didn’t need to. It had been a slip of the tongue. Let’s just say, I avoided him after that.
Lesson Learned: You should only love the one your with.
Awkward Moment #3
My former husband had been in a major accident at work which required three surgeries on his back. At one point he needed special shoes. After one of his doctor appointments I drove him to a shoe store in the big city. He was trying on shoes and being helped by a very lovely young man. I sat in a chair next to my husband while the shoe guy helped him try on shoes (remember that- when shoe salesmen actually put your shoes on for you?). The SS was sitting there waiting for my H to decide on the shoes when he turned to me and said, You smell really good. Are you wearing and he named the fragrance. I answered that I was. He said he liked that scent. I glanced over at the Hub. He was staring at the SS. The SS was staring at the shoes on my Hubs feet. Finally the Hub said gruffly, “I’ll think I’ll take these.” We left.
Lesson Learned: Offer no information about your own fragrance, but instead get person interested in the scent of your man.
Awkward Moment #4
Did you know I have a magnetic personality? I was at one of my daughter’s high school volleyball games. I was sitting in a packed gym of people watching her team play- but mostly talking to my sister-in-law who was visiting. I would glance at the plays then back at my SIL. Then it happened. I heard a thump, then someone screamed heads up and then I felt a slap in the face. The volleyball had flown up over several bleachers, over many people just to smack me in my face. The game stopped. People stopped talking. People stared at me. People asked if I was ok. I just shrugged and threw the ball back. OUCH.
Lesson Learned: Never turn your back on a volleyball. They are not to be trusted.
Those are just a few of my finer moments.
One of the best lessons I have learned in life is to stop taking everything so seriously -including myself. We all goof up. We all look stupid at some point. We have awkward moments.