The Hayride


It was Jessica’s idea to attend the hayride, to meet kids my age, but she's abandoned me for a boy on the first trailer. I stretch long to see her. I can’t. Before I turn around, I look at the other teenagers riding on my trailer: two couples lip locked and a guy with Goth black hair wearing clothes with razor cuts. I smile at him then swing my feet off the back edge of the trailer, to face the moonlit gravel road.

The hayride passes a silhouetted house in a field and another house whose yard is lit like Christmas, except, it’s Halloween. Sheet ghosts hang in cobwebbed trees while Jack-o-lanterns form a circle around a cauldron beneath it.

The juddering wagon dips down and drags my feet on the road. “My shoe!”  No one hears me because loud music is playing, except, Goth boy who stumbles over to me, grabs my arm and pulls me off the hay wagon.  As we stand in the road, the hayride disappears around the corner.
“I’ll help you find it.” His face is pasty white. “I’m Jake.”

“Mona.”
Under his chin, he turns on a flashlight that casts shadows upward and over his features, then aims at the road.  We find my shoe, and I stagger to pull it on.  Fauna screams from the woods nearby and something howls.

Jake shrugs. “Coyote maybe.” We hear sticks breaking and movement.  “Run!”
The flashlight goes out, but the road is lit by the moon until clouds cover it. I can hear that I’m walking on the road because my shoes crunch the gravel. Ahead I see a fire and hear guitars and singing. I run in and everybody turns to look.

Jessica runs to meet me. “Where have you been?”
“I—lost—my shoe.” I’m breathing heavy, doubling over. “Jake helped me find it.”

“Who’s Jake?”

We both look behind me. No one is there.
 
 
I loved writing this little tale for Spooktoberfest, but I need to know more about Jake and Mona. Who is Goth boy? Why does Mona need friends? What's up with the house in the field? And what's running after Mona until--it doesn't?
 

Comments

Spooky! Loved the story, Teresa. :) And Goth Boy...ha!
shelly said…
Excellent little diddy. It's definitely peeked my interest.

Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly
That was effective! He was really goth all right.
Love it! and want to know more!
Jackie said…
OOH! Very creepy. Terrific job!!!

Thanks for participating in our blogfest. :D
Dani said…
*shivers* So good! Totally chilling. I really like this!
Hart Johnson said…
Oh, I love it! What a fun little tale.
Sounds like a much larger story,

Well told, can't wait for the rest!
Tonja Drecker said…
What an ending! Actually, I'd love to read more :)
Tara Tyler said…
ooooo! spooky goodness! i like the vanishing goth guy helper!
Carol Kilgore said…
I really like this. Great flash! Would be a good start for something longer, too. Hint :)

Happy Weekend!
Anonymous said…
I like this, Teresa. :)
Lynn Proctor said…
wow i just loved this--i can see a book a tv series a movie and even a song--for real!!
CM said…
Oh I like it! I think it sounds fine the way it is. It's a nice little short tale. Fun read.
Cynthia said…
What happened to Jake?! Spooky!
dolorah said…
Ah yes, something in the woods moonlit woods. And were is Goth boy? This was intriguing.

.....dhole
Hi Teresa - yes definitely ripe for expansion .. what a great tale - you're so good at the spooky endings .. thoroughly enjoyed this tempting tale - glad it's morning here!!

Cheers Hilary
Mina Lobo said…
Delightfully spooky! And Jake sounds like my kinda guy (or whatever he happens to be). :-)
Mina's Resurrection Blogfest!
Unknown said…
I loved the piece and Jake! Caught my interest!
N. R. Williams said…
Fun story. I thought 'Goth boy' and Jake were the same character. This is a ghostly Cinderella story. Well, as far as the shoe goes.
Nancy
Jolie du Pre said…
Thanks for sharing your story!

Jolie du Pre
Precious Monsters
Tamara said…
I really liked this. I was instantly sucked into the story. I think you should make this longer!

I'm a new follower btw. It's nice to meet you. Great job on this. :)
Anonymous said…
Ah the spooky hayride. Those can be scary just getting cut up on those sharp pieces of hay stalks. Its the hay that's the villain.
Betty Manousos said…
wow, love it! great job!

what a fun story with spooky ending!

hope you're having a great week ahead~
xx
Mary Aalgaard said…
Ooo. Fun story. I'm hooked.

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