"Keep scribbling! Something will happen." Frank McCourt

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Life's Awkward Moments and Counting...

Have you ever had an awkward moment? I have. Here are four of my favorites.

Awkward moment #1.

About 35 years ago (tell me I’m not that old- TELL ME), I went into my bank and saw a friend of mine at the teller window. I had no children yet, but she was about to have her second child. We chit chatted. We laughed. She needed to go back to work. So I said, “R, when is your baby due?” Her smile disappeared, “I had the baby two months ago. I just haven’t lost the baby weight.”

Lesson Learned: Never ever ask someone if they are pregnant not female – not male.

Awkward moment #2

Another 150 years ago (uh that might make me a vampire), when I worked as an athletic secretary (and that doesn't mean what you think), I answered phone and greeted people and did whatever else I did. I was likeable and usually friendly to other people. One of our regular sales people called to ask if he could come by for a visit. We made the appointment then chit chatted (I’m good at that chit chatting). Finally, it was time to say our goodbyes. But, my farewell was special. He said he would let me go and then said his goodbye. I said, “Bye, love ya.” Silence. Holding breath. The only sounds were the echoing of my words in the recesses of our minds. Then I started laughing hysterically. He said, “I’m not sure how I will explain this to my wife.” I assured him that he didn’t need to. It had been a slip of the tongue. Let’s just say, I avoided him after that.

Lesson Learned: You should only love the one your with.

Awkward Moment #3

My former husband had been in a major accident at work which required three surgeries on his back. At one point he needed special shoes. After one of his doctor appointments I drove him to a shoe store in the big city. He was trying on shoes and being helped by a very lovely young man. I sat in a chair next to my husband while the shoe guy helped him try on shoes (remember that- when shoe salesmen actually put your shoes on for you?). The SS was sitting there waiting for my H to decide on the shoes when he turned to me and said, You smell really good. Are you wearing and he named the fragrance. I answered that I was. He said he liked that scent. I glanced over at the Hub. He was staring at the SS. The SS was staring at the shoes on my Hubs feet. Finally the Hub said gruffly, “I’ll think I’ll take these.” We left.

Lesson Learned: Offer no information about your own fragrance, but instead get person interested in the scent of your man.

Awkward Moment #4

Did you know I have a magnetic personality? I was at one of my daughter’s high school volleyball games. I was sitting in a packed gym of people watching her team play- but mostly talking to my sister-in-law who was visiting. I would glance at the plays then back at my SIL. Then it happened. I heard a thump, then someone screamed heads up and then I felt a slap in the face. The volleyball had flown up over several bleachers, over many people just to smack me in my face. The game stopped. People stopped talking. People stared at me. People asked if I was ok. I just shrugged and threw the ball back. OUCH.

Lesson Learned:  Never turn your back on a volleyball. They are not to be trusted.

Those are just a few of my finer moments.

One of the best lessons I have learned in life is to stop taking everything so seriously -including myself. We all goof up. We all look stupid at some point. We have awkward moments.

Just Laugh.

24 comments:

  1. Hi Teresa .. yes I've done the when's the baby due trick - embarrassing to say the least. I had a terrible one .. my next door neighbour - curmudgeonly old man (chauvinistic too!?) told me that someone had died ... so when I saw his widow as I thought - I offered my condolences .. got through that one too .. they are both still alive and well.

    No doubt lots of others .. looking forward to seeing others' comments .. Hilary

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  2. Hilary, I haven't done that one- which by the way made me chuckle. Sorry.

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  3. We all definitely have awkward moments. I loved these. I've had so many I wouldn't know where to start. I'm trying to take life with a laugh and a smile and not be so serious because life happens and then we crack up. Enjoyed the post.

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  4. I've found that the very best laughs are when I'm laughing at myself :)

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  5. Oh, that was the best...I love it when people can laugh at themselves! I think you and I have a lot in common...we do plenty of things to laugh about later!

    1. I've had that happen to me after having my last baby.

    2. I've totally done that...how embarrasing, especially when not only is it a fellow cop, but my Commander!

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  6. I'm tellin' ya...your NOT old! I could write a book on my awkward moments, you would think I would stop but 'no', I continue to add chapters! Heehehe!

    I had an employee ask a woman when her baby was due and she replied,"I had the baby two months ago." I learned that lesson through someone else.

    God bless ya and have a wonderful Wednesday!!!

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  7. This was such a great post. You're so right about not taking ourselves seriously. I got over that a long time ago because I excel at doing stupid things.

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  8. Mason, Smiling is better than crying.

    Joanne, And who better to laugh with.

    CM, Yep, I pretty much get up every morning and ask myself, "Now which foot shall I stumble over first?"

    Nezzy, It's better to learn from others.

    Carol, Me too, "excel at doing stupid things". Gotta love it, right?

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  9. Teresa,
    Good to hear that you are MAGNETIC!
    I know this blog sure is.

    I think in writing, it's important to have characters, like you, who are "real" by being in funny places at funny times.

    Blessings,
    Patti

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  10. I’ve had more of those moments than I care to remember, but I really enjoyed laughing at yours!

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  11. LOL!

    No. 2 happened to my husband one Thanksgiving morning when he was ending a phone conversation with my mom.

    I still laugh about it. I'm laughing about it right now!

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  12. Great stories! I agree, laughing at our humanity and our silliness is the best way to lighten our loads.

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  13. Thanks for these great laughs! I called my ex-husband "hon" AFTER the divorce. My mind spazzed, or something.

    People have asked ME if I was having another baby! Ya. Nice. I hold my fat in a bad place. My babies (twins) will be 10 soon.

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  14. Oohh...one day in college I had to run after my hubby because he forgot the keys to the car..his ride home. I had to make a decision...get him the keys or run to the bathroom because I had to pee so bad. I chose to RUN and give him the keys...got to the bathroom, my button stuck...sat on the toilet anyway! AWKWARD!

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  15. Funny! It posted Anonymous...well, it was me!

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  16. Hi Teresa...so good to be back on line....if only momentarily...and to see that you are back again in full colour, with lots to delight me in your posts. I've got a lot of catching up to do, but won't be back blogging until I return home in a few weeks time. We are in Melbourne (Lesley territory) for a wedding....my sweet Leith has finally said YES to the man who has been by her side for the last 15 years. So it will be a wonderful Easter Sunday, joy and happiness as we celebrate life and love. Take special care xx

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  17. Funny Teresa! Loved this post! Thanks for puting a smile on my face:)Glad to hear that you're a magnetic personality.I 'am not surprised though!. I just KNOW that you are!
    Betty xx

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  18. Those were wonderful snipets of your life..thanks for sharing! Following you now!

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  19. Yes, those are some squirmers. The "love ya" one reminds me of my first wife, even now she'll say that to me, but when she says it at the end of a message she leaves on the answering machine I have to cringe hoping my present wife doesn't hear it-- she just seems to get paranoid even though my ex lives 3000 miles away.
    Lee

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  20. Thank you so much for the laughs you provided me with! I've had too few lately.

    And most definitely never turn your back on a volleyball (same rule applies to trains in the hand of a toddler) - it leads to bad things. ;)

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  21. I saw nothing wrong with your confirming the fragrance. Some people just like to get overworked for nothing. :-)

    If we laugh with people we are not being laughed at. Great share! Thanks!

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  22. LOL I loved your list! You sound like a fun person to know:) And yes I remember when they used to help us put shoes on!! Wonder when that stopped?? Happy Easter!

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  23. I've had sooooo many awkward moments...worst....my dress tucked in my panty hose when I was twelve at my cousin's wedding. I'll never live that one down.
    Mary

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  24. Thanks for sharing your awkward moments with the blogging world. Your list made me smile.

    Happy Easter!

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