"Keep scribbling! Something will happen." Frank McCourt

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Things I said I would never do

As a kid, I said I would never
…ever make my kids eat anything they didn’t like.
…make those same kids clean their rooms.
…like the music my folks liked.
…work a regular job instead of touring with my rock band.
…live in Missouri.
…eat mashed potatoes.
… “understand” my rural place.
…say I told you so.

If you have ever said you would never ever do something, you may have, by now, done those very things. That’s just the way life treats us. It took me awhile to figure out the more I swore I would never ever do something my elders did, the better the chance there was that I would probably do that very thing.

Maybe I was:
  • Self-righteous
  • Hopeful
  • Clueless
I knew I was in big trouble when I put my arm in my coat and out came my grandmother’s hand, looked in the mirror and saw my mother’s face, giggled and heard my other grandmother’s laugh.

What has happen to me? I’ve become like those grownups that I said I would never be like and…I’m so glad.

What is your “I will never do or say” and you did?

24 comments:

  1. Pretty much everything you wrote except:

    …work a regular job instead of touring with my rock band.
    …live in Missouri.
    …eat mashed potatoes.

    Unfortunately, I'm just like my parents. Well, I'm hoping to be a better version anyway.

    CD

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  2. I thought I'd never say "because I told you so..." ugh. When the words come out of my mouth, I can't believe I'm saying them!

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  3. Good reflection....I thought I would never *not* be able to see things up close.

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  4. I'm so guilty too! I see myself in my actions worrying about my grown child like my mother did me!

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  5. I thought that I'd never be one of those moms who says, "I can't wait for school to start in the fall," but I am. Sigh.

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  6. I just had to laugh hard at this. We all have similar 'when I have kids I'll never say or do's'. My daughter will tell you that she is goin' through that 'mirror,mirror on the wall I am my mother after all' phase. It's just funny how life is! :o)

    Have a beautiful summer day! Hot but beautiful...Heeehehehe!!!!

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  7. I know I have said it but for the life me cannot remember what it referred to. I do know I learned very young to avoid the "Never" word. It comes back to bite. :)
    Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  8. Oh my Lord, I don't know how many times I've opened my mouth to my kid and MY mother jumped out. Sheesh. I used to hate when my mother would tell me "Because I said so, that's why." Swore I would never say it. HAH! Now I understand WHY she said it and yup, I've used it more than once.

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  9. Oh, and he really hasn't a choice about living in Missouri, lol! Poor kid. But he loves where we live but just recently spent time in a favorite place of my, Texas, and loved it.

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  10. I guess much of my outlook on life hasn't changed that much and I've been pretty wide-ranging in my interests and have been the kind of person who has always seen different viewpoints, so I guess there is not much that I've said I wouldn't do. If anything I used to often say I'd never collect unemployment and always have a job. That changed, but I'm not very happy about that.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  11. I will never give unasked advice to my adult daughter! My mom gives me advice whether it relates to anything in my life or not! Whatever she preceives/decides I'm doing wrong, she will give me advice even though I don't ask. I swore I would never do that to my daughter! So far, though there have been times I had to bite my tongue, I've stuck to this rule.

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  12. There's not enough space on the internet for me to answer that question. :-)

    I will agree with you, though, the more I said I'd never do it, the more passionate I feel about doing it.

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  13. It's so true, isn't it? My 'grandmotherisms' are mostly high art, in my opinion, but when I catch myself acting like my mother, I cringe. Most of these I use in false mockery "It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye!" (said joking, but meant to stop the rock fight)

    There is no surer way to start a fight in my house than for the hubby to say 'you're just like your mother'. Odd thing is... she is 80% okay. it is just the other 20% I have trouble with.

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  14. Daddy told me never to say never!

    My list is so long there is not enough room here.

    I once said I would never go with holey panties so my children could have something. My mom said this a lot, "I go around in holey underwear so you kids can have what you need!"

    Well, guess whose underwear has holes in it now???

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  15. Do you remember the first time you either used an expression one of your parents used or yelled at your kids sounding like your parents?

    I never had the kids, but I have inherited my father's sigh.

    My never list-as long as everyone else's and pretty much blown (although I have never eaten asparagus or a beet).

    Larry

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  16. I said I would never break a promise because I was devastated from broken promises. Sometimes you just can't tell the future, so it's better to agree to try than to promise.

    I said I'd never eat brussel sprouts. You know, they aren't that bad. :-)

    I said I'd never spank my children, but sometimes they needed a whack on the hiney.

    I said I'd never curse. I truly try not to, and do it very very seldom.

    So what do we know when we say this stuff anyway??

    Good thought provoking post!

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  17. Very wise and so true! We had different perspectives as kids. Now I see my mom made me to eat vegetables because they are good for me, not because she was a sadist -- which she definitely wasn't!

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  18. I try never to say "never" because it tends to bite me in the ass.

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  19. I passed never a long time ago. I love Jimmy Buffett's song - don't know the title - but there's a line that says 'we are the people our parents warned us about'. That's my goal :)

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  20. I said I would never drink coffee when I was younger. I thought it tasted disgusting.

    And now, I have 2-3 cups a day!

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  21. This was a beautiful post and made me think of what I do that reminds me of my parents.

    One of the things I promised myself was to never say, "I told you so," but I've caught myself saying it a few times with my friends. So, yes, I broke my promise, but sometimes it's okay to break them. I learned by breaking them, that it's okay to say it once in a while.

    That you might get a good laugh out of it. That you might shake your head and remind yourself how many times you actually did restrain yourself. Then, you forget all about the promise and make a new one in it's place. The promise that says, "It's okay to say, 'I told you so,' every once in a while."

    Awesome post and write on!

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  22. I said I would never judge young people for driving around in the summer with the windows down and music blasting.

    And now?

    BOY. Do I judge!

    Thanks so much for stopping by earlier!

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  23. What a thought inspiring post.

    There are so many things I said I would never say that I DO....

    I think give advice is a main one.
    Why cant I just shut up with my kids?)

    But JW I have to say....

    mashed potatoes....really?

    I would never have given those up -even as a kid. What was it you didnt like, the texture maybe?

    Indie

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