Talking to Hear Myself

(This post disappeared this week. I'm re-posting it.)

I got there late, but only 5 minutes or maybe 10. I said, “It’s not my fault, I got behind two school buses…two, and they were yellow and on the same street.” Then I said, “I figured you would have someone in the chair and I’d have extra time.”

She smiled a sweet smile and said, “Nope, no one before you. That’s ok. Two buses?”

I nodded then sat in my hair guru's chair and watched her put an unflattering black cape over me. I said, “You own a pink pistol and a rifle and ride a pink four-wheeler and all you can come up with is a black bib?” I kept talking to help her forget my lateness.

In the station next to me, a high school girl with curly hair had it cut short and straightened. A woman waited for her in a spare chair on the other side. My hair guru said to the girl, “That style makes you look older.”

“Good,” the girl said.

Sometimes you really want to be one of the girls. Sometimes a dye soaked brain shouldn’t speak. “It DOES make you look older,” I said. “Your mom will want to keep you locked in your bedroom.” I looked at the woman in waiting.

Like right before a tornado but before the hail—when everything goes quiet, it did.


Then my pink-gun totin’, size 0, hair guru whispered, “That’s not her mother, that’s her sister.”

I hear the girl laugh behind me from the shampoo chair. “She thinks you’re my mother.”

“I’m not your mother,” She says then mumbles something I can’t hear.

I’m sure she was offended and went straight to the mirror on the wall once she got home. “Who’s the fairest one of all,” I can just hear her say, “I’m not her mother.”

After that, when I finally stopped talking, I sat there thinking how it wasn't my first insult to someone else and that I've said worse things.

Moral: Your 2 cents offered can never be returned.


  1. Great moral...if that is the worst you do, you're okay.

    Beautifully written.

  2. Teresa--Actually, this makes me feel a little better, knowing I'm not alone! I sometimes have foot-in-mouth disease... :)

  3. Oh Honey, we have all been there!
    Hope today is wonderful! :)

  4. Oh baby, you can bet we've all suffered from that old 'Foot in Mouth' disease...and will again!

    You take care and have a super blessed day void of the back side of big yellow school buses!!! :o)

  5. i agree with snickers.

    we have all been there.
    love your writing style.

    have a wonderful day, my dearest!


    betty xx

  6. Oh dear, that is too funny! That is totally something I would do. I say things all the time, and then regret it afterwards. My big mouth has gotten me in many pickles, I tell ya!

    Don't worry about it, you would think the sister was glad she looks older, that's what most girls want at that age.

    How's your new job going? Are you working over the summer once school's out? Hope you're all trained in now and doing great!

  7. Oh, my. Well, it's not the worst offense I've ever heard.

  8. You are so funny! I do a similar thing - I get rattled and start talking and don't have complete control over what comes out.

    I so agree about the ugly black capes. :-)

  9. Oh, my comment has gone after blogger crashed.
    glad i thought i'd check in.
    so i'm here.

    i tend to do the same exact thing.
    but hey, it's not the worst offense i've ever heard.

    hope you're having a great weekend!

    betty xx

  10. Okay, I had a small chuckle :)
    You crack me up and I love how honest you are about your life. When I visit your blog I know that I am going to read about the true you...and it is inspiring.

  11. You are back! I thought you were still on break!

  12. Funny, Sunday's sermon was about taming the tongue. We heard that it is easier to tame a wild beast. I wish I had a dollar for every time I stuck a foot in my mouth.


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