The Case of the Pizza, Grape Soda and...

In my defense, dear Blogger jury, I would like to say that I took very good care of my children and husband and provided them a nutritious meal not once a day, not twice a day, but three square meals a day…and…and I ate with them for years. I also shopped for food once a week when they were around the house. I kept the pantry and refrigerator full or as full as you can when you have children.

I say this, Blogger jury, because of what you are about to read.

Here is the conversation (by way of cell phone) last evening with my daughter, as it unfolded.

“I’m a little worried about me,” I started the conversation, “ I’m so tired all the time and I don’t want to clean my house anymore and that’s not like me. I am worried I will become the like the Collyer brothers.”

“You won’t become like the Collyer brothers.” My daughter said.

“Did I tell you the nurse called today and left a message about my test results and I still have the disease? (For those on the jury that may not know I took an antibiotic a few months ago that killed the good bacteria in my finicky digestive tract.) She wants me to call the office to discuss it, but went ahead and called in another stronger prescription to take. I just don’t know if I trust the new 20 year old doctor. Well he’s older than that, but he looks like my brother and I have issues with that.”

“Hey… wait a minute.” She protested. (As you may or may not know she has a doctorate and has suddenly, at a young age, become a director over other people and sometimes people think she’s 12. So, I call her Doogie…well because I can. )

“So yay, more medicine.” I say sarcastically. “Maybe that’s why I’m tired so much and don’t feel that great, because I have the disease.”

“Could be.” She replied.

“I ordered a large pizza tonight just for me and I ate half of it and my stomach doesn’t feel good… at all. So I drank a grape soda because I wanted one and thought it would make me feel better." I paused.

"The whole thing made me...throw up in my mouth (Sorry, Jury). Then I drank a large glass of water.” I tell her.

She gets quiet for a moment. “I haven’t decided yet if your eating habits are those of an unattended six-year-old or those of a college Frat boy without the beer.”

Ok, jury of Bloggers, after I laughed hysterically I agreed she’s correct in her observation. Even though you haven’t known me long, but from the evidence presented and just for you think my eating habits are that of an unattended six-year-old or those of a college Frat boy without the beer?

Do you see the fun we have?

PS I would like to say that I will try and eat better, but it would be a lie.

Sources: jury, pizza and grape soda- Flickr


  1. Broccolies are better, I guess. Fast foods teaste delicious but they are the enemies of our health,unfortunately.:(

  2. omg! I forgot to ask.Do you watch The Doctor Oz Show?

  3. Oh Teresa, I LOVE your post. You started my day off with a laugh, thanks.

    Maybe your eating habits are like those of a college Frat boy who acts more like a six-year-old (but wait, isn't that the main characteristic of a Frat boy anyway?). I say have fun and keep eating pizza and grape soda, if you want.

  4. I refuse to vote! I have the eating habits of both.

    Try introducing vogart into your diet. May help your problem. Now that they have delicious flavors like key lime pie and strawberry cheese cake, I find I do like vogart.

    Yogart is a important part of my cooking, no dishes, and you use only one spoon.

  5. Yagmur, you are so sweet to try to steer me toward broccoli. I do like some veggies.

    MC, I laughed so hard after she said that. We have a good time together. Good point, many Frat boys have probably reverted back to their six year old selves.

    Gail, See my problem is I have had digestive problems all my adult life and been through test after test which doesn't show anything serious, thank goodness. I've tried everything including yogurt.I think I have given up.

  6. Your eating habits mirror those of what I ate when I was pregnant....hummmmm ;-)

  7. CM, Yep that would be a Christmas miracle on soooo many levels.

  8. Oh too funny! I eat potato chips and dip a lot. I guess we're not really grownups, are we?

    I'd have to agree with Gail about the yogurt. Everyone in my house, including the dog, has irritable bowel (except, somehow me.) They take Levsin and eat yogurt and somehow we get by! :)

    Mystery Writing is Murder

  9. Elizabeth, I love dip and chips too. Yogurt doesn't help me. I am wondering what Levsin is and will google it.

  10. Hm, usually fizzy soda, even grape, helps settle the stomach, so you've got me perplexed. You might get a hung jury on this post :/

  11. Although others were responsible for the happenings of our first childhoods... we alone get to decide how we spend our "second childhoods" - so I say- enjoy your pizza and grape soda!

  12. Joanne, I wondered about a hung jury. And yes, grape soda makes me feel better, emotionally.

    Sally, Have I told you lately that I love you...? :) Perhaps, I am going through a second childhood. And I might have warned my daughter of this lately.

  13. Frat boys and 6 year olds have a lot in common when it comes to healthy eating. No wonder your stomach is bothering you! I wrote an article about sugar because it throws our whole system off whack. It is SO unhealthy. The pizza isn't as bad as the pop. Why is it we don't think about healthy eating until we don't feel well or we are raising our children?

  14. I discovered recently that I'm gluten intolerant, so no pizza for me. :(

    I drank some eggnog the other night and didn't realize it had gluten in it and lordy mercy did I suffer, probably felt like you did after the pizza and grape soda. I venture to guess it won't be the last time we slip up in the healthy eating department. (I crave ravioli.)

    Cute post. Have a Merry Christmas!

  15. Oh, dear. I LOVE your writing, blanch at your food descriptions.

    Your organic, locally grown, nearly vegetarian, sprout head writer friend who will have a sprouted tortilla smothered with broiled veggies and grass-fed cheese for dinner.


  16. Judy, The only food that does not hurt my stomach is cornbread and crackers (not wheat). I really really think if I gave up processed sugar half of my issues would be gone. I've only done that once...for two weeks.

    Elizabeth B., I was tested for that too, gluten intolerance. I passed. Sadly, after all these years, I think I have given up. YOU TOO have the merriest of Christmas.

    Patti, That's another thing- I like vegetables and fruits. But, I have eat them sparingly. PS I like sprout head writer friends. :)

  17. When I get the house and get settled, you're going to have to come and stay with me for a few weeks. I'll cook and get you back on track!

    Cooking, yoga, writing, reading -- how does that sound for a visit?

    Oh, and there will be cats, dogs, and gardens, too.

    Can you imagine a Mastiff in a one-bedroom apartment? He'd BE the bedroom!

    All dog adoption must wait until we've got the house. I want another Westie (grew up with them, love them), Elsa wants a dachshund (and now, a Mastiff), and I also want to adopt a retired racing Greyhound.

  18. Devon, Someone needs to cook me back on track...maybe light a fire. I don't know what happened to me!!!! I'm quite pathetic.

    The visit is all things good. I use to do yoga, I still read and write...just don't ask me to cook, but instead I shall sit in the midst of Violet and Elsa and whomever you have added in the meantime. Let's just hope you can get rid of me after that.


  19. What Gail the yoghurt. It's the best for lots of things that antibiotics take out of our systems. Try it before any more drugs. It may work, it may not, but best to try it first.
    I eat it every morning with fruit. Can't start my working day without my fig and honey fix.


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