"Keep scribbling! Something will happen." Frank McCourt

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Witness Protection Program


This has nothing to do with my statement recently "For the first time in my life I want to run away"...Really... BUT…


Here are the reasons why I think I would be a good candidate for the Witness Protection Program.










  1. A new identity would not be a problem. I can’t remember my own name half the time.
  2. I remember all faces. (In case you want to kill me, I will remember your face….)
  3. I can keep a secret... whatever you tell me. (Actually I forget it right after your admission.)
  4. I can barely find my way home, hence the help of Agnes (GPS). So a new location is fine.
  5. I like to travel.
  6. I am suspicious of everyone and every circumstance.
  7. A new career might be nice. 
  8. Every day is a new day for me. (Actually, every blink is a new day.)
  9. I love mysteries.
  10. I might, just maybe or perhaps make a good witness. The jury is still out on that one.
However, there may be a problem with my theory of being a good candidate for the WPP....and this might make me nervous.

There are many people out there that believe they know me and recognize me. I guess it's my fairly common looking plain kind of face... because everyone (yes everyone in the whole wide world) "thinks" I am familiar to them.
  • I look like their niece.
  • I look like their daughter.
  • I look like their best friend.
However, I want to point out that absolutely no one has EVER said “Hey, you look like Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock.” Nope, not one person.

A few years ago when I worked for a bank an older gentlemen customer came to my teller window. “Are you Tracy?”

“No, my name is Teresa.” I pointed to my little name plaque.

“Well you look like a Tracy I know.” He said.

I just nodded politely.

He called me Tracy for the next year every time he visited the bank. Not only that, he wouldn't let anyone take care of his banking needs except me...Tracy.


When my sweet beautiful Mama was in the hospital almost two years ago, a woman walked up to me while I was there...at the hospital.

“How are you?” she sang with excitement.

My brain scanned her face like a good computer for recognition. I cleared all checkpoints of her face in my mind. No recognition. So, I just nodded.

She continued to talk.

I listened. I don’t remember what she said, though. I was stressed trying to place her in my mind.

Then at some point she realized I wasn’t who she thought. She said, “I thought you were someone I use to know, but you're not. You REALLY look like her.”

I smiled and shrugged and said, “Sorry.”

She was clearly embarrassed and left.

She looked like a nice person, maybe I should have tried harder to be her friend.

That, dear Blogger friends, is why I would and would not be a good candidate for the Witness Protection Program.

Am I the only one? Are you ever mistaken for another person?



Photo source: Me


20 comments:

  1. I *do* get that a lot! Apparently I look like some woman who works at Bath and Body Works here. :)

    My memory is really bad, too! I can't remember a thing...

    Elizabeth
    Mystery Writing is Murder
    Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen

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  2. i am incapable of forgetting memories:/ and this sometimes gives pain to me yeah u are not the only person that have been mistaken by others, people can claim that u r sb whom they know eventhough u don't know them, this is really strange
    have a great day((:

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  3. Hi JW .. not sure re the WPP .. and I'm not often mistaken for others.

    I'm good at remembering people and faces usually. Though recently up at my mother's Home two of the care staff have been chatting away to me and calling me by my name - eventually I've had to say - 'how do you know me? .. then it dawns me they're out of context - not in uniform etc .. we laugh and get on with it!

    I agree when you're stressed with your own situation and are 'forced' to relate to another unknown at that stage .. I too have thought afterwards .. I could have been kinder. I believe I've changed that habit now - having had my mother and uncle in hospitals, Nursing Centres, Hospice so often in the last three years .. it's ingrained to react to others - even if my mind is elsewhere - I know they need my help, and I understand where I'm at.

    Thank goodness for kindness ..
    Hilary Melton-Butcher
    Positive Letters Inspirational Story

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  4. No, I haven't really gotten that. But I like your stories about it, sounds like a good premise for a book maybe?

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  5. I got mistaken for "Spike" three times when I started college (for the first time). Spike apparently looked like me from the back. Meh.

    I've been told several times that I look like Sean Penn, but it's been a while. That was when he did Dead Man Walking and I had a goatee at the time similar to his in that flick.

    Nowadays I look like a tired, overworked dad, so I bear a resemblance to about 150 million other people...

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  6. I'm sometimes mistaken for other people and I'm constantly called by other names. I too have a person who has called me by a different name ever since I met them (six years ago). I've quit trying to correct them and just answer what they call me.
    I love reason #1. That fits me so well.
    Now if you go into the WPP you will have to continue your blog, you know this, right?

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  7. In my younger years, before the ballon and gravity effect, my sister lived away. She returned to open a real estate office and of course I was in the postal service.

    The mistaken identity never bothered me but Bev was a little put off.

    For her birthday, I made a shirt that said on the front, "I am Beverly" and on the back, "I am not Gail".

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  8. I do get that once in a while. And like you, it's never someone well-known, just an everyday person from whomever's life.

    I say no WPP! ;)

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  9. I used to be really good with names. Then about 12 years ago I took a job at a high school and had to learn about 350 students' names in a single semester.

    Now I can't put a name to anyone's face.

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  10. Oh…I thought that only happened to me! I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be a good candidate for the witness protection program because I think I would constantly confuse myself by having two identities.

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  11. I am lousy with faces. I give people joke names so I'll remember them: e.g. Poirot moustache man or Bambi eyes girl.

    However the feeling about running away? I'm experiencing it too.

    Elspeth

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  12. My favorite part about blogging is reading your comments. I usually sit here and laugh-which I love to do. You are all a bunch of comedians.

    Elizabeth, I use Victoria's Secret more than B&BW but can you get us a discount? :)

    Tugce, I "think" I would really like to be mistaken for a Hollywood beauty.

    Hilary, That's a good point, when we aren't where we normally run into people and we don't recognize them when they are out of place.

    Joanne, Lucky you. I am sure there is a book there.

    Simon, You do look like Sean Penn a bit, but I would rather call you Spike? Okayyy I wonnnn't.

    Mason, Don't you worry, I would for sure continue to blog if I went into the WPP. :)

    Gail, That's funny. My sister has been called Teresa sooo many times in our younger years that it might be a sore spot. I'm just saying.

    Janna, See I think you remind me of someone, but can't think who. I usually remember things like that at about 2 in the morning. I'll give you a call. ;)

    Kat, I wonder what happened to your memory. Mine has never ever been a good thing.

    Jane, How funny. Maybe you could be in two WPP's.

    Elspeth, I been told it's normal to want to run away sometimes. Great- now I'm normal.

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  13. Ha ha ha...I love your list. Too funny.

    Yes, I too hear the phrase, "You look so familiar to me" all the time. It's the weirdest thing!

    BTW friend, you have to actually WITNESS a crime, and it has to be on the federal level before you can enter the program ;-)

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  14. CM, I can't get anything past you can I. However, what if?????

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  15. One more thing, Cop Mama, don't you think my photo "could" get me straight in? I mean come on.

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  16. I don't want to be in the WP. I have too many kids/grand kids/great grands & I would miss them desperately. If someone does (PLEASE DON'T!) commit a crime in front of me, I will get so flustered I won't remember a thing (clearly-that is), so they have nothing to fear.

    I liked your post. It was refreshingly humorous and I loved Gail's comment!

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  17. People like to tell me their life stories and very personal information when they don't even know me, in line at the bank, waiting at the doctor's, mingling at parties, etc...

    What is that?

    I used to have a killer memory, not so much these days, but I think I'm still above average and I hope I stay that way, (my dad had Alzheimer's and I took care of him and it wasn't pretty.)

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  18. No, but I was told I look just like Jennifer Lopez, and that I must get that all the time, several years ago.

    Nope, never before that day, nor since.

    I do know people like you though!

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  19. LOVE your post, girl! Well, back in my court reporting days, a witness was detailing the woman involved in a prostitution ring at a major hotel chain. She's tall. Kinda dishwater blond hair. Kinda round face. He looked at me, then said, "Kinda like this woman here."

    Yep, the court reporter who's never supposed to smile, talk, never supposed to do ANYTHING but be the machine that records the sessions, nearly kicked over her steno with the laughing fit.

    Not a muscle moved on the lawyer's face as he said, "So we don't have to mark Mrs. Lacy as an exhibit," can you continue to give more details?"

    Yep, I look like folks.
    Don't we all?
    LOL

    patti
    www.pattilacy.com/blog

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  20. That's too funny!!! I have been spoken to as well as though I knew the person but clearly didn't. Usually they figure it out by my contorted snarled-up facial features as I struggle to place them to no avail.

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