Aging is a Monster

Aging is a monster if you don’t accept it graciously. I know a few women that embrace the march of time with grace and beauty, forgiveness and love… to self.

I want to be of that mindset. Instead…

I say wrinkles go A-way.

I say waistline come back.

I say gray hair disappear.

I say gravity take a hike.

I say energy REturn.

I command thee, Age, go jump in a Missouri river where the water runs deep.

I can only speak as a woman, because frankly I don’t understand men. But, we women are fighters. We fight our gray hair by dyeing it. We fight our bulges by over explaining it. And we fight the “fall” of our kingdoms (otherwise known as our bodies) by joking about it.

Looking good is so much work and becomes more work as we age.

I say all of this to qualify what I am about to say. To over explain my aging and to joke about the extremes of what some of us do for beauty. Not me…or would I?

I have in my possession a sample packet of "Lip Injection".  The claims on the back is that it is a serum that gives long term lip volume. My luscious pouting lips from my youth are becoming thin lines of skin trying to cover the opening of my mouth. (Isn’t that poetic?)

I wouldn’t puff up my lips with injections for any amount of money. I had a friend who was a little over 30 who did that. Ouch and ewww. But with a free sample of lip puffer, I could apply and see what happens. I mean come on they have tested it on college kids who needed the money- right?

This is what happened.

I tore open the little packet. It had a very nice scent. I applied it to my lips. It produced a nice glossy texture. I smiled at myself in the mirror, but frankly it was a big blur because…I couldn’t see me…because…my eyes are going too. You know.

I went back to my computer.

A couple of minutes later, it happened, a tingle in my lips. Oh.well.I.guess.that’s.ok. However, the tingle turned into maximized stinging. I ran to the mirror thinking I might see new and improved voluptuous lips in that five minute span.

For all the pain and suffering there was nothing. No puffing. No pouty lips. No Hollywood miracle. All it did, my experiment, was irritate the skin around my lips.

But before I forgot the experience,  I ran back to my computer to...blog about it. I mean isn’t that why we jump out of planes, go on a reality shows, write a book, date George Clooney (or is that just me?) and birth babies- for the experience? Now that I am a blogger, I have to log all of life’s experiences for my blog- painful or not, stupid or not because you my followers -might want to know…right? Oh and yes I took photos, but I had to draw the line somewhere in the sand dunes of my craziness. 

You can tell me, I won’t tell a soul. What will you do to preserve your youth? Or are you saying to Age, come hither and make me your friend.