When it's time to let go!

Let’s talk about hugging. You know the O of X’s and O’s.

Although I like hugs, I am a respecter of personal space. I won’t crowd you. I will let you breathe your own air.

If I don’t know you well, I will at a safe and respectable distance offer my hand for a handshake. A handshake on its own is a pretty darn safe gesture, rarely against the law (in most states), and can be germ free if you follow up with hand sanitizer. A handshake is less contact than a hug.

This DOES NOT pertain to my grandchildren. We do not shake hands. On a regular basis, I devour them wholly, pulling them in for deep hugs followed by dots of kisses on their faces—often a hundred or so. Because three out of four are older children, I apologize, thereafter. They always reassure me that my hugs and kisses do not embarrass them yet.

Recently, I was face to face with two siblings that I hadn’t seen in years. We sort of grew up together, sort of—in the same area.  Standing before the woman, I offered my hand to her for a handshake. She received my hand in hers, covered it with her hand, then upped the ante and pulled me in for a bear hug. I was a little shocked, since we didn’t really know each other that well and never embraced as children.  The problem with her hug came when I kept letting go before she was finished, then I would hug again, let go and so on.  When it was finally over, she let go and guess what? I was still clinging to her like a hug starved fiend. I had missed her signal to let go.

Awkward but not as awkward as the next hug.

Her brother was next and I greeted him offering my hand. I wasn’t surprised this time when he held my hand captive and pulled me in for a hug.  I figured he got the idea from his sister. Since I’m a head taller than he is the hug became an awkward re-union.

Don’t get me wrong hugs are wonderful if you like them, but since that day I’ve wondered, how does one know when it’s time to finish the hug so that you’re not the one left hanging on. Is there a count or a cadence? Is it a tap on the shoulder or a squeeze and release kind of thing? Or is it that you don’t hug back and only stand there limp as a ragdoll? I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don’t.

Here a couple of things I DO know.

a. If you’re a child, you should never be made to hug anyone. Not one single person.  As parents we should not insist that our children hug others. The decision to hug or not should be the child's.

b. If you release your hug too soon and engage again, but they release you, the “hugging back and forth” could go on for hours. 

c. Never forget the deodorant because stressful hugging can cause a nervous sweat fest.  

Unexpected hugs aren’t so bad especially if you consider the alternative--the out-of-the-blue, unexpected kiss smack dab on your lips, from a near stranger.

Now that’s truly awkward. Trust me, I know.

xxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooo

What's your advice on hug timing? Any awkward encounters for you? Are you a hugger or a handshaking sort?