IWSG: Millie Writes

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Instead of the July question, I give you Millie.

Dear Insecure Writers and pets of writers, 

Do you remember me? I'm Millie, Mummy's Mal-Shi. I’m four-years-old, and my job is to run the household. Mums is pretty busy this month, so I thought I'd write her post for the IWSG. She didn't asked me to, but I'm kind of pushy that way, so here I am. I want to arf arf a bit about the insecurities of the pets of writers.  

It’s no secret that my mummy likes to write. I'm not here to talk about how much she writes, like all of her free. Instead, I'm here to talk about the neglect that is going on with pets of writers everywhere. 

Her writing begins between 5:15 a.m. and 5:30 each morning, depending on how many times she wallops the alarm's snooze button. When she finally climbs out of bed, she makes her coffee, grunts at me at least once, feeds me and gives me fresh water. She also gives me a complimentary scratch on my head and asks, "Are you ready to go potty?" 

I think its fun to stare at her blankly, acting like I don't know what she's talking about, until she gives up and sits on the couch. About the time the metal pet occupies her lap and I see her fingers petting the metal pet, I run to the door and wait.

After we come back in, I race to the couch to get my place on her lap, but she shoos me away and picks up the metal pet again. I don't  get the attraction. MP isn't fuzzy like me and doesn't lick all exposed skin areas. 

MP is weird and cold, but I really tried to make friends. I tried:

- to give MP kisses. Mummy called it slobbering and said to cut it out.
- jumping on top of it, but Mummy said, "No!" 
- carefully stepping on its letters. I mean, what pet has letters? 
- making MP jealous by licking Mum's feet, shoving my nose up her pant leg and licking her leg, licking her hand and licking her coffee cup. 

That's a lot of licking even for me, but I am blessed with great slobber glands. MP didn't even care.

Mummy also writes before going to bed. When MP sits on her lap, Mums says she is writing and I must understand. So I think of ways to get her full attention like at night when I go outside. After I'm done doing my business, I freeze and stare into the darkness and don't answer her calls to come inside.

Mums: Come on, Millie, get in the house. You don't see anything. 

I think Mummy is HOPING I don't see anything, but you know the writer brain. 

I've concluded that as a pet of a writer, you must assert yourself or you could be left behind. In fact, if you are a pet of a writer try being a writer, too. It “seems” easy enough. 

As I see it, all you have to do is:

-Tune the world out,

-Develop an early morning growl,

-Drink coffee, if you can handle it,

-Type with your tongue on the Metal Pet if you don't have fingers, AND
-Let your imagination loose.

I’ve even decided on my author name! Are you ready? M. Powell Coltrin. Like it?

Lots of arff (love), 

M. Powell Coltrin