Changing Careers

I’m looking into changing careers again. No new education required. The new career? I want to be a Couch Potato.

I believe I have all the needed qualifications for being a couch potato and without much effort.

I have eyes.

I’m round.

I roll unevenly.

In this weather, I feel baked.

I've never been called Spud, but that's easy to fix.

I like sitting.

And most importantly, I have a couch.

Now, tell me, am I qualified or not?